Never
by Whiteowl1
Summary: Sarah and Jareth are caught fighting by Sarah's parents and an I Never game ensues


Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth *sniff sniff* Jim Henson Corporations does, nor do I own  
Absolut Vodka, the Absolut Vodka Company does surprise, surprise  
author's note: This story takes place a little after the party in Sarah's room during the same night.   
Warning: It's not meant to be taken seriously so just have fun with it. Please review, this is only  
the second fanfic I've ever done.  
  
  
Never  
by Whiteowl  
  
"Yeah! Well I never got beat by a fifteen year old at my own game."  
"I never wished away my brother!" came the retort.  
"Karyn what in the world is going on down there? Who is Sarah fighting with, it's 1:30 in  
the morning?!" Robert turned to look at his wife perplexed. He could hear the accusations flying  
downstairs in the kitchen.  
Karyn sighed and shook her head, "Go get that bottle of champaign and four glasses, then  
meet me in the kitchen. I'll try and calm things down in there." When Robert had moved out of  
earshot Karyn murmured to herself, "Jareth what are you up to?" Karyn made her way down the  
stairs and into the kitchen, hoping the shouting wouldn't wake Toby up. He'd never get back to  
sleep.  
Sarah and Jareth stood about three feet apart from each other, yelling. It looked as if they  
were going to try and kill each other at any moment. "You are the most strong headed, stubborn  
girl I've ever met!"  
"And you are the most manipulative, conceited, self-centered, arrogant..."  
"Now your just being redundant," Jareth sneered at Sarah and crossed his arms over his  
black vest.  
"Argh!" Sarah stomped away, wondering what she could throw at him that wouldn't get  
Karyn mad at her. She stopped dead, as what she's just seen registered in her anger clouded  
brain. "Dad! Karyn! I..." Sarah turned towards the kitchen doorway.  
Karyn stepped inside and barked orders, "Robert put those things on the table. As for you  
two, sit down. You're going to talk this out like adults." Jareth raised an eyebrow at the last  
comment, but obeyed. A few moments later, after she'd calmed down enough, Sarah took the  
only available seat next to Jareth. The four looked at each other around the table. Karyn looked  
exasperated and tired. Robert looked extremely puzzled at what a strange, older man, dressed  
entirely in black, was doing sitting in his kitchen at 1:30 in the morning. Sarah just looked  
extremely pissed, and Jareth's features had become the mixture of teasing unreadability that Sarah  
had come to know so well. Jareth was playing with his wine glass, and seemed to have made  
himself comfortable, lounging in his chair.  
Karyn slowly poured drinks for everyone, including Sarah. Jareth smiled, this would be  
interesting. "All right, whenever anyone of us feels angry we'll take a drink and then refill it. This  
will be a little like the 'I never' drinking game. Got it?" Karyn ordered, "Good, I'll go first. Then  
we'll take turns." Jareth smiled, oh this was going to be so much of fun. He had a higher  
tolerance for alcohol than anyone else here, especially Sarah, and he knew it.  
"So this is going to be just like the game?" he asked. Karyn nodded and was rewarded  
with one of Jareth's toothy grins. Sarah suddenly got very pale and started to fidget.  
Karyn started the game, "I've never had a screaming match at 1:30 in the morning."  
Jareth, Sarah, and Robert Williams all took a drink from their glasses. Karyn glanced at  
Robert, who answered with one word, "Linda." Karyn nodded.  
Robert frowned, "Er.. I've never seen this man in my life," he pointed towards Jareth, still  
looking confused and somewhat slightly dazed. Evidently, he was still half asleep. Jareth tilted  
his head back and drained his glass. Sarah and Karyn had half of theirs.  
Sarah went next. She glared at Jareth, before saying sweetly, "I've never played with my  
balls." Jareth glared at her before downing another glass. Robert had a coughing fit and scooted  
away from Jareth. Karyn started to wonder if they were going to need another bottle before the  
night ended.  
"All right, if that's how you want to play it, I've never kissed a dwarf." Sarah turned red  
and sipped her drink quietly, "It was only on the cheek."  
Robert looked at his daughter, "Um.. I've never seen a dwarf." Sarah and Jareth took a  
drink. Karyn once again wondered if this was a good idea, since Sarah was underage, and Karyn  
was pretty sure she'd never had alcohol before. It was Karyn's turn now, and she tried to think of  
something Sarah wouldn't have to drink to.  
She ended up blurting out the first thing that came to her, "I've never had premarital sex."   
Sarah's eyes grew wide as Jareth preceded to pour out and down three glasses of champaign  
before Karyn moved the bottle out of his reach. At Sarah's gaze Jareth shrugged, "What? Your  
father drank too."  
Robert smiled and Karyn looked at him. "Linda and I did a lot of things," he  
replied again. Karyn glanced at the bottle, it was halfway empty. They were definitely going to  
need more.  
"I've never blown on my balls or thrown them," Sarah smiled sweetly and looked  
pointedly at Jareth. Robert scooted farther away.  
"What is your obsession with my crystals?" Jareth exclaimed, glaring at Sarah, who  
blushed, before he drank another glass.  
"I've never listened to a worm for directions, and had him tell me to go the one way, when  
in reality the way I'd been going led right to the castle," Jareth stated smugly.  
Sarah bolted straight up in her seat, "What! He lied to me and I believed him! He even  
invited me into see his wife. If I hadn't believed him I wouldn't have had to go through the bog,  
or fall into the oubliette, not to mention the cleaners. I don't believe it!" Sarah slumped in her  
chair, still fuming when she noticed Karyn glaring at her, and Jareth trying not to laugh. He'd  
known that he'd get a rise out of her with that.  
Forgetting about turns, Sarah turned towards Jareth, "I've never tried to seduce someone  
half my age." Jareth glared at Sarah again and took a drink. Robert began to wonder why he  
hadn't thrown Jareth out in the first place, and how the hell had Sarah gotten herself involved with  
this odd man.  
"I've never thrown a fit over a teddy bear," Jareth stated cooly. As he watched Sarah  
throw back her head defiantly and down her glass, he noticed, not for the first time, just how  
beautiful she was.  
Robert caught Jareth staring openly at his daughter and gave him a death glare. "I've  
never checked out someone while their parents were watching," he growled. Jareth smiled at  
Sarah and downed yet another glass, looking at her over the rim of the glass. Sarah blushed and  
looked away.  
Karyn started to worry again, this time about Sarah's and Jareth's behavior. Maybe getting  
them to sit down like this hadn't been a good idea. "I've never insulted royalty," she said. Sarah  
threw her head back and downed her glass. Robert and Jareth both sipped.  
Sarah grinned evilly, "I've never drugged anyone, and still had them turn me down while  
they were drugged." Jareth paled and reached for his glass. Robert wondered if he could  
somehow get between Jareth and Sarah.  
"I've never complained once every five minutes 'that's not fair,'" Jareth retorted, mimicking  
Sarah. Sarah opened her mouth to say something, caught herself and closed it, before taking a  
drink glass. She looked like Jareth had caught her off guard with that comment.  
Robert's eyes widened as he realized why Sarah had been gotten off guard and, feeling the  
effects of the alcohol in his system, blurted, "I've never stared at a man's crotch!"  
Sarah turned bright red, and she and Karyn took a drink. "He's wearing tights! If I look  
anywhere but his face I see it," Sarah tried to defend herself. Robert was staring at Karyn,  
realizing she had taken a drink along with his daughter. Karyn suddenly found her glass very  
interesting. Jareth shifted in his seat.  
Karyn and Sarah had suddenly gotten very quiet, so Robert continued, "I've never worn  
makeup." Sarah and Karyn took a drink from their glasses. Everyone turned towards Jareth,  
waiting expectantly.  
"What?" he asked, "This happens to be natural, thank you." Jareth crossed his arms and  
glared at everyone. Sarah looked relieved. Karyn and Robert stared at the empty bottle of  
champaign.  
"I'll get more," Robert offered. He got up and tottered off in search of the bottle of  
Absolut Vodka.  
Jareth glared at Sarah, "I've never wished away my brother to the goblins." He smiled  
triumphantly as Sarah sipped her glass and looked at the floor.  
Karyn frowned, "Sarah what did you do with Toby?"  
Ignoring Karyn, Sarah glared at Jareth, "I've never kidnaped children for a living!" Jareth  
turned red and drank his glass. He preceded to burn a hole in the wall across from him  
with his eyes after that.  
"Sarah what did you do with Toby?" Karyn demanded, refusing to let the subject lie.   
Sarah got very pale as Karyn's question registered in her brain.  
"Drop it. She learned her lesson and Toby's safe. The details don't matter," Jareth  
snapped, happy to have someone to lash out at. Robert returned, stumbling, with three fourths of  
a bottle of vodka, evidently he couldn't hold his licker very well. Karyn got out a bottle opener,  
and everyone refilled their glasses before continuing.  
Sarah, still angry, started, "I've never been beaten at my own game by a teenager."  
Jareth became livid, "You only won because I underestimated you, and even than you  
would have lost if you hadn't had help." With that he downed his glass as he burnt another hole in  
the wall with the heat of his glare.  
Robert looked at the two through bleary eyes, he wasn't used to drinking this much at  
once. Out of the blue he pointed at Jareth and said, "I've never found him attractive." Jareth  
almost spit out his drink. Sarah stared at her father dumbfounded. Karyn grinned sheepishly  
and reached for her glass. Sarah refused to look at Jareth, and cheeks burning, quickly downed  
her glass. Jareth smiled to himself at how the game was progressing. So far Sarah had been  
caught staring at the bulge of his tights, and now had admitted to finding him attractive.  
He flashed her a winning smile, "I've never lost myself in the arms of my enemy."  
Sarah jumped out of her chair and started yelling, "You had me drugged at the time, and  
under a spell! It's not like I had much of a choice about what I did then!" Jareth smiled at her,  
and handed Sarah her drink after first refilling it. Robert debated whether he could still throw  
Jareth out or not.  
"I've never been late for babysitting," Karyn said, still sore at what Sarah had done with  
Toby. Sarah and she glared at each other, before Sarah looked away, and took a drink.  
Jareth broke in, "I've never gotten lost in the Labyrinth." Sarah took another drink along  
with Karyn, who shrugged, as Sarah and Robert looked at her.  
Sarah looked thoughtful for a moment before replying, "I've never changed my clothes  
every half hour," she smiled smugly.  
Jareth glared and grabbed the bottle, taking a drink. "You live with goblins and see what  
you'll be willing to do to alleviate the boredom," he said, noticing the stares. He put the bottle  
back on the table.  
Robert Williams smiled evilly at Jareth, "I've never worn tights." Everyone else reached  
for their glasses. The bottle of vodka was a little over halfway empty. Karyn and Robert were  
definitely drunk, and Robert looked like he was about to fall out of his chair. Sarah was a little  
worse than Jareth, which would have shocked Karyn if she'd noticed it.  
It was Sarah's turn, "I've never offered someone one of my balls before." Jareth gave her  
a death glare and once again reached for the bottle. Sarah pouted at his glare and Jareth raised an  
eyebrow. Sarah smiled satisfied.  
"I've never run home in the rain wearing white," Robert said. Sarah reached for a drink,  
and Jareth sat up a bit straighter, wondering when he'd missed that.  
After this Robert turned to Karyn and slurred, "I think I'll go to bed." He lurched to his  
feet and Karyn got up to help him. They leaned against each other as they went up the stairs,  
leaving Sarah, Jareth, and a fourth of a bottle of vodka alone.  
"We might as well finish up," Jareth offered. Though he'd had more to drink than anyone,  
he didn't appear to be drunk. Apparently earth's alcohol didn't have that much of an effect on  
him.  
Sarah, on the other hand, seemed a little tipsy, "I've never sent an army after four people."  
Jareth shrugged, "It wasn't the first time I've done that." He took a sip of his drink and  
poured another glass.  
"I've never fallen into an oubliette by saying 'it's a piece of cake,'" Jareth smiled. Sarah  
turned red and looked away.  
"I thought I had it figured out," Sarah murmured before sipping her drink. She smiled  
warmly and turned to Jareth, "I've never serenaded anyone at a ball." Jareth smiled and looked at  
Sarah over the edge of his glass as he drank.  
"I've never danced with anyone looking so beautiful at a ball," Jareth replied calmly.   
Sarah had picked up her glass, expecting to hear something that she would have to drink to, and  
instead dropped it in shock. Jareth smiled, and got up gracefully to pick up the glass. "Maybe we  
should call it quits, hm?" he asked. Sarah nodded and tried to get up, almost falling back down as  
her head swam from the alcohol. Jareth caught her before she fell, and picked her up into his  
arms. Sarah couldn't help but notice how warm he was, she felt flushed.  
"I can walk by myself," Sarah said weakly.  
Jareth smiled and shook his head, "You've never been drunk before Sarah, let me help you  
this once." Sarah relaxed, and Jareth held her a little tighter as he carried her up the stairs and  
into her room. He set her down on her feet carefully.  
Sarah wavered, leaning against Jareth for support. When she felt she wasn't in danger of  
falling, she looked up into Jareth's mismatched eyes, "Why did you come tonight?"  
"Isn't that obvious, I came to see you, Sarah." Sarah shivered and looked away, aware  
suddenly of how close they were, and of Jareth's hands on her waist. Shyly, she looked back up  
at him and bit her lip, "I've never been..."  
Jareth cut her off with a smile, "I know. You can hate me later." Jareth pulled her closer  
and leaned in, kissing Sarah gently. Sarah leaned further into his arms. Slowly, Jareth backed  
away and broke the kiss. He smiled at Sarah, and ran his hand lightly over the side of her face,  
before turning into an owl and flying out.  
Sarah fell into bed, smiling. "I guess I can't say I've never been kissed anymore." 


End file.
